Whether we want to admit it or not, most of us have wished at one time or another that our lives reflected themes, as well as the experiences of our favorite romance novels. I call this the "fairy-tale syndrome" where so many of us are on a quest to find love much like those that we have read about. Normally, I wouldn't consider this such a terrible thing because I'm all about the "happily ever after" (HEA). However, there are times when art imitates the unfortunate parts of life, and what started out as a script for a great romantic love affair abruptly changes into a horror-slash-tragedy. Much like in a book, the classic hero, or heroine (this does not happen to just women) has perpetuated an unforgivable fraud, and the other person is left picking up the pieces of his or her broken heart. Not only that, but the person who has been seemingly hurt beyond repair is usually the one who blames herself, or himself for what has happened. They are the ones who find it difficult to ever trust or love again. For some, this whole process of being so caught up in the "fairy-tale syndrome" ends in disaster.
Case-in-point: I have a wonderful friend who recently posted an article titled, "Death of Expectations" on her blog. In the article, she talks in-depth about how she had finally found her soulmate. He was everything she was looking for; the "knight-in-shining-armor" who had come to "sweep her off her feet." Okay. Sounds like the beginning to a typical romance novel.🤔She describes him as being "sweet, intelligent, and generous." So far, so good. These could be characteristics of a perfect MMC (Main Male Character).😍 Even better, they connected on a level so deep, he really knew her right down to her soul. Now we're really talking swoon-worthy romance book boyfriend.💕 However, it turns out that everything was not what it seemed. Uh-oh! *Needle Scratches record* All the things he said or done was never about love. Oh, no he didn't.😲 His intentions were so far beyond dishonorable, he should be hogtied then flogged. Just like that, our hero went from being a "knight-in-shining-armor" to a no-good "snake-in-the-grass." Unfortunately, this experience is one of many that has left my kind and beautiful friend feeling disheartened about finding "the one." Like many of our romantic heroines, she blames herself for being so caught up in the fantasy, that she willingly put on the proverbial rose-colored glasses that blinded her to the truth. In her post, she says that her "state of blindness opened her up to the dangers of [dishonest], unauthentic people and a hurt so powerful . . . you feel numb to anything."
Wow. That makes me want hunt this guy down and really knock some sense into him.
So how do you recover? How do you move forward with your life without becoming bitter or jaded about love? Do you give up and stop believing in happily ever after? It's not easy opening yourself up to the possibility of love again; especially when you're left emotionally drained, or extremely cynical because you've been crushed one time too many. There is only so much you can take before you either break completely and close yourself off forever, or you become fearsome or fainthearted and start putting up emotional walls of protection that even an Olympic gold-medalist high jumper would have problems climbing over. Is it possible to keep believing after being hurt so much?
Maybe you're thinking either, I just can't risk my heart like that ever again, or all this heartache will be worth it somehow and someday. I am definitely no expert, but no matter which side of the "love diagram" you're on, I do know that there aren't any simple answers. You have to decide for yourself if you're ready to throw in the towel, or if you're willing to pick up the pieces and try again. However, I find nothing wrong with proceeding cautiously. It's okay to be on your guard a little, and careful with your heart. Heartbreak seems to be inevitable, and you may have to kiss a lot of "frogs" on your quest for that fairy-tale romance. I know its not really about me at this point, but I will say this: If I had given up, I would have missed out on my own HEA. 💖
*If you want to read my friend's article in its entirety, you can click, or copy and paste the following link in your browser:
https://tyygerspirit28.wordpress.com/2017/06/08/time-travel/